Maintaining Sanity

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY, MOMMIES!

2009-05-10T11:31:00.001-05:00

Happy Mother's Day to the hardest working people out there -- the moms!

Have a truly fabulous day, ladies!

Swine Flu

2009-04-29T19:00:00.001-05:00

Everyone's talking about it.

I'm WORRIED like crazy about it.

Are you?

Does It Feel Like Spring Now??

2009-04-28T17:01:00.002-05:00

Though the weather can't decide if it wants to be 40 or 80.. {I sense some tornados in the near future..}. I took these pictures on a pretty day. I felt like sharing them because, well, soon enough it will be so stinking hot out that no one will want to be outside taking pictures next to flowers that have bees swarming around them.

I do not like, green eggs and .. well there's no ham.

2009-04-26T12:34:00.003-05:00

Haha, the kids know the book so I made green eggs.

Didn't have ham or anything like ham.

SO, I made them.
[actually they were cheesey eggs]

Needless to say, once they saw them, and they were green.. They didn't want them.

Buttheads.

Why do I hear Dora music at 6am?

2009-04-26T12:30:00.002-05:00

I woke up hearing "Dora, Dora, Dora, The Explorer!!".... Looking around, pitch black, confused as all heck. Then I realized my DD fell asleep with her Dora shirt on that plays music if you squeeze the bottom.

Oh my. [I'm sure I get a Bad Mommy Award for letting her sleep in her shirt because I was *not* waking the crabby princess.]

Just For A Second...

2009-04-24T16:28:00.001-05:00

...I walked by the prenatal vitamins at Walgreens...and had a HUGE urge to get pregnant... Glad that passed quickly. ;)

Really? 61 Windows?

2009-04-14T23:23:00.001-05:00

Some glitch. I posted my last blog and 61 Maintaining Sanity blogs (mine, obviously!) popped up and wouldn't stop.

Odd.

On a different note. I've been having tons of problems with this website. I'm considering switching to Wordpress. I'll keep you 'posted'. ;)

I Just Ate 68g of Fat. :) oops.. 35g of fat sorry!

2009-04-14T23:04:00.004-05:00

I'm a moron. It was only 35g lol.

...and I'm not ashamed...
Okay, so I am.
But it was good.
And well worth it.
And I'm sure I'll eat about 68 more grams of fat.

What, you may be thinking, did I eat that contained so much fat?

These:

Oops, I just opened another one.

They're addictive. Damn.

It's times like these I'm thankful for my speedy metabolism. ;)

Candy, Candy, Candy.

2009-04-13T14:02:00.002-05:00

Yuck.

All together, my kids had 5 or 6 Easter Baskets, plus random egg hunts where there was candy/money stuffed in an egg (still have to do more of this today with my grandparents and their neighbor). My kids have SOO much candy it makes me SICK!!!

It doesn't help that my 2 yr old snuck his big baggy full of candy and hid pieces everywhere that we wouldn't see it.. Needless to say, his is almost gone. LOL.

No wonder he didn't go to bed till 3 am. :| Bad Mom Award goes to me. :P

HAPPY EASTER!!!

2009-04-12T12:52:00.001-05:00

Happy Easter from my Family to yours!

I may post some pictures with my kids all prettied up later on. ;)

FINALLY!

2009-04-08T21:01:00.003-05:00

I haven't blogged forever.

I had a PIECE OF CRAP Sony Vaio and the freaking keyboard sucked ASS. So I had to return it finally. I'm a super fast typer, yet to type 1 2 line e-mail it took 10 minutes when it'd normally take me 1 minute! POS! I hated it. So I had to buy a brand new Dell 1525. <3 I love it. The keys are normal! haha!

So yes, be prepared to get annoyed by me, once again!

P.S., I still <3>

Really, This Obsession Can't Be Healthy...

2009-03-25T11:31:00.003-05:00

Really...

This can't be healthy... To think about this movie 24/7... =o)

MMMMMMMMMMMMM.

Yes. It has consumed my words.

I've Been Bitten...

2009-03-23T13:44:00.002-05:00

By the Twilight Bug.

Never got interested in the book.

Thought the movie looked STUPID.

Rented it last night and now I have dreams about Edward. <3

I'm in love with a Vampire.. haha!

GREAT MOVIE. Now, I'm going to give the book a fair try. I was in the middle of the Harry Potter series when I tried to start reading Twilight.. so I didn't give it a fair try.. :)

Wow. I'm just.. swooning over him. And the make out scene. Yeah. That was very..."I wish it were me". ;)

Okay, I'm done being a gushing little girl.

It's Too Pretty NOT To Be Outside!

2009-03-16T13:57:00.001-05:00

Going out.. it's like 65 degrees out (still almost 30 degrees away from where I'd prefer it ;))..
Be back with many pictures, I'm sure! If I get inspired. It just was NOT happening for me yesterday.... That, and the park gets boring after you've been there in the same spot for a couple days in a row... lol. Plus the kids don't like stopping and smiling, or even going slow enough for me to get a picture of them. :)

Attack of The Sinuses

2009-03-16T00:57:00.002-05:00

...again.

My.Whole.Face.HURTS.

I've been having the infamous temple ache, and headache for 2 days. Tonight my ears hurt, my head feels like it's been squeezed and poked at repeatedly.

I blame it on the glorious weather we're having. Why? Because it's nice and in the 60's for a few days, then wham bam, it's back down to 20 degrees. That wreaks havoc on A) your immune system, and B) MY sinuses. Which, I guess is my immune system, right? :(

Ah well. Maybe a nice hot sit in the bathroom while the scalding hot water is running will make me feel a little better.. for tonight at least. It's 1am and 2 kids are still awake. No surprise there...they never go to bed ON TIME. And yippee, spring break is all this coming week. (Note the sarcasm). Oh boy.

A Little Self Promotion

2009-03-15T12:29:00.002-05:00

Check out my Flickr account..
Comments and Contacts are welcome!
*HERE*

Mommy Got a New Toy!

2009-03-11T23:12:00.002-05:00

I'm in love at first site.. er, point.

Here's my gorgeous cherries..

I can't wait til have my battery fully charged and go out and take pictures of everything tomorrow! This picture looks 100x's better full size!

Mouthy Kids?

2009-03-11T15:33:00.002-05:00

So, my youngest and 2.5, he'll be 3 in June. He is soooooo mouthy!
I don't know where he got it from!

He is very demanding!

Say he'll just eat a meal, a few minutes later "give me fruit snacks!"

Us: "No, DS, you just ate, just wait a while."
Him: "GIVE ME FRUIT SNACKS NOW!"

And on and on.

If he drops something on the floor - he is very capable of bending over and picking it up - he demands, LITERALLY DEMANDS us to get it for him.

Basically wait on him hand and foot.. I've never, ever seen a kid so mean and demanding!

I'm afraid to say no to him because he just yells MORE!

Any tips??

I'm going nuts!

Have I sunk to the lowest of lows?

2009-03-10T00:34:00.002-05:00

I just ate an entire.16oz.jar.of.pickles.

Now I want cookies. ;)

But on a lighter note.

I'm calling my Counselor to get back into her tomorrow.

Yay! Virtual *high fives* for me!

PS; I'm totally needing a new layout... if you have any cool sites or know people, or know people who knows people, yeah, well, comment me and tell me!

I want some springy stuff! I'm so done with the cold weather. I believe I have cabin fever!

U/S Results

2009-02-25T20:25:00.001-06:00

My OB said everything looks fine, in her opinion. The radiologist has to review it still, but she said everything looks okay.

I hope!

Nerve Racking Day

2009-02-24T13:34:00.001-06:00

I've been having some side pain and TMI, but some weird spotting. Not pregnant, no ovulating right now.

The side pain is on my right side, it goes down my thigh, in my sides and the right side of my back.

I've been suffering with the spotting about 3 days then it stopped, the pain has been there for about 4 days.

So today, I'm getting a U/S on it to see what it is.

I bet I have a cyst or.. cancer. Just because I'm a negative thinker I have to think something horrible. I hope I'm wrong. Maybe it's just a cyst that will go away? Oh I don't know.
I'm very stressed out (and have been for a couple weeks), and a nervous wreck.

Ugh! :(

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

2009-02-14T23:28:00.001-06:00

It's late, but ya know. <3

Happy Valentine's Day!

Chick Flick Night & A Sinus Headache

2009-02-13T19:36:00.003-06:00

For starters, I went to the video store and rented:
"For Keeps" (Starring Molly Ringwald! <333)
"Father of The Bride Part 1 & 2" (Who DOESN'T love these movies?!)
"Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter Is Dead" (Yet, again, awesome movie and I love Christina Applegate in it - HILARIOUS!)

Then some Arthur 'movies' for the kids and of course, "Wall-E", which I *HATE* but the DC's are intrigued and obsessed. I think it's a silly, pointless, no sound movie. Ugh.

So we shall have some fun this weekend.

Next, I have a sinus headache that is killing under my eyes, my nose is runny, eyes are burning and it feels like my head is dripping and swollen. Sound appealing at all? LOL.

Yuck.

That is all.

OH, ps, I lost a "follower", me so sad. lol.

Take A Moment To Remember...

2009-02-10T12:17:00.005-06:00

Caylee Marie Anthony

Today was the memorial service for Caylee Marie Anthony.
Nancy Grace will talk about it tonight on her show, 7pm Central time.
But now, let's take a moment to remember, Sweet Baby Girl Caylee Marie Anthony.
This case has touched me, caused a lot of tears, and given me many sleepless nights. What I would do to get her back, I would've taken her if Casey was done playing "mommy".
Rest In Peace, Gorgeous little Caylee.

Tax Time!!!

2009-02-09T00:11:00.002-06:00

A lot of people dread it, a lot of people love it. Either way, tax season is upon us.

We got ours done.

We're very happy with the end result.

Should I say it here? I feel weird.

Maybe I... will..

We're getting back...

$12,400.00

*gulp*

Aside from paying off bills, we're getting some fun things.

Me, for sure, a Nikon D80. And some photography set stuff.
Tons of clothes.
Kids clothes.
Re-doing some rooms.
DH wants a PS3, surprised he doesn't have one yet lol.

So yeah.

GET YOUR TAXES DONE!!! lol

The Heating Vents Are NOT For Puzzle Pieces!

2009-02-02T18:09:00.001-06:00

2yr old DS stuck half a freaking puzzle in the heating vents. Before that DD stuck a whole Pull & Peel licorice piece in it. I don't get why they do this and HOW they do this?! I was sweeping the floor and told them to clean up their puzzle pieces. They cleaned them up alright. *insert very angry face here*.

Le Sigh

I'm 48% Addicted To Blogging

2009-02-01T16:34:00.000-06:00

48%

Not too bad!

Blah, kids, blah, stressed!

2009-02-01T13:30:00.004-06:00

My kids = stress this weekend.

My middle DS was throwing a temper tantrum, so I left him in the kitchen to do it. I don't want to see a 4 yr old scream like a girl and say he doesn't like me.

I went back out to check on him after I heard a ton of banging sounds. He was throwing CANNED GOODS at the stove! I got him to quit then he started kicking the stove.

Oh boy, he's going to be a fun teen.

I'm just stressed.

That and my 2 yr old will not back off me for 5 mins. If I try to sneak a bowl of cereal for myself, holy heck - they ALL smell it apparently (who knows? They have noses like DOGS!) and run "I WANT YOUR CEREAL MOM!" even if they're in the middle of eating their meal or snack. I just don't eat half the time because I can't get 2 minutes to myself.

Ahh I'm sooo stressed out this weekend.

Sorry for the mini-rant.

Anxiety a'brewin'

2009-01-26T18:04:00.004-06:00

First off, I have a crappy keyboard at the moment. I'm going out to get a new laptop tonight or in the morning, and it can't happen soon enough! Ahh.

I have a lot of topics I need to talk about right now.

1. I blew off my counselor last week. Bad, right? I know. :( I was at the building, but the street was closed so the high school teenager inside of me (haha, that was sooo 8 years ago) decided "maybe they're closed!". Yeah right, they don't even close when there's a blizzard out. LOL. So, I just put my foot on the gas and drove the other way. What was so important to me that I had to blow off my sweet, amazing counselor? Nothing. I had an hour without any kids. No husband. No animals. No tv, computer, nothing. I had nothing to do. So, I went shopping. Ahh, retail therapy. It's a lot more expensive than my actual counselor, but that's alright. ;) So now, I need to make a new appointment. I guess I just didn't feel like talking. I just didn't feel like going? I don't think that's weird but maybe it is.

2. My kids are driving me crazy (even crazier than what I consider myself normally), which is bad lol. My DD has a voice that pierces your eardrums when she talks. So....imagine that multiplied by a thousand times when she YELLS or SPEAKS LOUDLY. Yeah, that's all she's been doing today and I'm at my wits end.

3. They think they need to follow me EVERYWHERE I GO. I'm in the office and here comes one. I just need some quiet time to myself. Can I get that? No. They throw themselves to the floor, scream, pull each others hair and hit me. It's really old.

4. DH is working, need I say more? Ugh.

5. I want to get my W2. We're waiting on mine, and go figure, they'll take their sweet ass time to send it out.

Ahh.. I'm stressed.

eBay...Oh Where Do I Begin?

2009-01-25T22:42:00.002-06:00

Some people need an IQ test to be able to buy on eBay.
Seriously.
Sending you the same question about something over, and over, and over. It is very annoying.

Ah. Please, if your bidding on something on eBay, save the seller some trouble and READ THE WHOLE DESCRIPTION [including s&h] BEFORE BIDDING OR ASKING A ?. Please!

That is all.

Banners For Your Blog

2009-01-22T21:32:00.001-06:00

I've had a couple people e-mail me about my banners..
Yes I did make them myself, lol!
If you want me to make one for you (and for FREE! lol), just send me an e-mail.

pinkdiamonds84@gmail.com

Flickering lights?

2009-01-22T09:42:00.002-06:00

Last night I had our master bedroom light on - I went out to the living room.. All of a sudden I saw our light turn off. Uhmm. I called for DH, I assumed he went in there and turned it off. Nope, he was in the office. Then I saw it go back on.

Yeah, I'm sure there's ghosts in my house now.

A Sad Day For The Republicans

2009-01-20T10:57:00.007-06:00

Yep, I'm one of those people. The people that don't want Obama in office.
I've been called racist and a black person hater because of this.
TOTALLY untrue. 100% false.
I disagree with many of the Democrats ways. It's nothing directly TOWARDS Obama. I have absolutely NO hate for black people at all.
I'm 100% Republican. I wanted John McCain to win.
All in all, it's a sad day for many, many people.

I Will Never Think of Vanilla The Same Way..

2009-01-19T17:46:00.004-06:00

So, we use vanilla scented garbage bags in our bathroom garbage can.

Not for long, I bet.

During our puke fest, I found a new bathroom garbage can that I must've put in the basement and forgot about - so I thought that would be a good "emergency" 'puke catcher' (ew) to say the least. I put a vanilla garbage bag in it so I wouldn't have to scrub the garbage can out in case it did get used.

Well, when I was hovering over that garbage can, releasing everything I had eaten the day prior, I kept smelling that sweet scent of VANILLA. That I use to love. Not so much.

I was just changing the garbage can in the bathroom (because I'm anal like that and change it even if there's only a couple pieces of Kleenex in there), and I got a new vanilla bag out to put in, and my stomach just got so weak.

Lesson learned? Nothing. I still have to use my garbage bags because they're my thing. Oh well, hopefully I feel 100% tomorrow and not only 85, like I did today. lol.

Sickness, please be GONE!

2009-01-19T10:55:00.002-06:00

First it was DS, then DD, then DS2. Then yesterday morning it was ME at 6am. I couldn't walk without my heart pounding, throwing up, etc. Felt fine at about 5:55am this morning.. so it was literally a 24 hour flu. Now DH is sick. Also my grandparents are both sick, as is my cousin who was staying at my grandparents...eek.
This crap is contagious!

Gag, Barf, Vomit

2009-01-17T23:51:00.001-06:00

That is what my kids have been doing for three days. Well, not three days all together.

First my DS gets it, pukes 2 times and is done. Then my DD got it today, has thrown up a few times. Now my DS2 has it and has puked every.single.hour for about 6 hours now. There's nothing left in him to puke!

Ahh.. great.

He's sitting here on the couch, sleeping. :o( While h'es doing that, I'm researching even more of the Caylee [Casey] Anthony case. That beyotch is freaking guilty. I hate her. I'm reading over sooo many documents, and text messages, IM's. She is allllll about "Casey, party, Casey, boys, party, drinks, Casey, Casey, boys".... Get my point?

She needs to burn in hell, or rot to death in a jail cell.

Whew, back to reading.

Wanna Link Me?

2009-01-17T12:17:00.006-06:00

If you ever want to link my blog, here's some small banners. I'm working on getting some buttons made. If you want to exchange links, I will add your banner/button on my blog.
You can either leave me a comment or e-mail me at pinkdiamonds84@gmail.com

So, if you want to get more viewers/comments on your blog, publicize yourself by putting yourself out there, in a, not gross way. ;oP

Once you go MAC, you never go BACK?

2009-01-17T10:01:00.003-06:00

That's right. I've been a PC user since 1995. That's a LONG time. I figured I may as well try the Mac out. I've been playing around with my cousins MacBook, and I LOVE all the cool little gadgets and features on it. :o) Sooooooo...........I bought one. :o) LOL.

Let's hope I love it as much as I loved hers. PC is just giving me too many problems lately. I've been hit with virus after virus, I'm constantly scanning my POS laptop (that I just got a few months ago), so I sold the sucker. I should be getting my Mac on Monday.

Anyone here with Mac experience want to leave any tips for me? I can kind of be blonde at moments.

Are you staying warm?

2009-01-17T09:16:00.002-06:00

The past week we've had -degree weather. I think at one point it was -30, NOT INCLUDING windchill. Repeat with me: "Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr". It is just so cold out.

Our bathroom hot water (from the faucet) froze. Just the hot water. Still not thawed out even though we're in a heatwave, at 20-some degrees at 9:20 am.

This next whole week is shouldn't get down past 20* so let's hope some of the insane amounts of snow melts.

Blah. :(

Throw me and the Husband feeling crappy in with that mix, and you've got yourself a miserable mom. :(

Today's Session

2009-01-12T17:31:00.004-06:00

Basically today was a catch-up session since I haven't been there in almost a month, or maybe longer?! It was nice. Peaceful, really.
Last session I tore out and cut out pictures of my fears from magazines. Well today while talking, I glued them into a really neat looking collage. It had pictures of all of my fears.

It was a nice session.

I almost didn't get to go, because, we live in FREAKING Iowa, and are in the middle of a flucking blizzard. YIPPY SKIPPY. :(

Are You 100% Happy?

2009-01-10T13:22:00.000-06:00

Are you?

Find Me A Cheap Laptop!

2009-01-09T22:08:00.001-06:00

I'm in need of a second laptop, but I don't want to spend a lot on one.
Does anyone have any good sites/stores aside from Walmart & Best Buy?

It's just needed for e-mail, internet, and just online games. We don't need a specific gaming pc.

PLEASEEEE help me find a good deal!!!

Blogger is making me mad!

2009-01-09T13:48:00.002-06:00

I keep getting closed out and crap. I can't stand blogger right now!

Sorry, I had a post but got so mad I deleted it!

You can thank PMS for that. :D

Alvin & The Chipmunks or Power Rangers?

2009-01-08T02:01:00.004-06:00

Since I have sickies here, they camp out in the living room where the humidifier can get both of them (the healthy one is staying at my grandparents so he doesn't get this -- he has asthma, and is absolutely awful [sick wise] if he gets sick.. so I'd rather have him spending some quality time with G&G rather than get sick)...and since they "own" the living room now, we've been watching nothing but cartoons and these 2 movies. They're both "okay" movies, well A&TCM is, not Power Rangers, but once you watch it over and over and over, they get so annoying.

DD went to the dr today and she also got a RX for a Z-pak as well. It worked wonders for my DS! Let's hope she's better soon too.

Next week I can finally get back to counseling -- I need it! :(

Ahh, how I love thee..

2009-01-06T23:01:00.002-06:00

I recommend this to anyone who has a coughing kid. Put it all over their chest, on their neck and on their feet then put socks on them. Works WONDERS!

2 Sick Kids...

2009-01-06T06:57:00.001-06:00

I knew having 'just 1' was TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE.

My DD woke up at 6 am burning up.

She had a febrile seizure back in November 2006 -- we didn't even know she was hot or was sick. Turns out she had double ear infections, both ears, but never acted sick at all.

PLEEEEEASE keep +++ thoughts for her, that we get through this icky sickness totally fine.

Also, DS is still sick and DH is now sick. I'm glad my middle DH wanted to stay at the grandparents last night... keep him away from the sickies.

Ugh...

Sick Kid(s) and Bad Day!

2009-01-02T18:28:00.002-06:00

Right now it's just ONE sick kid - I predict they'll all be there sooner or later, if not, we're lucky.

My youngest DS has a "small ear infection" and a cold. I tried getting his ears cleaned out a bit so they didn't look disgusting before going to the DR and he refused [over and over again]...

They told me NOT to clean his ears.. (ew), and they had to use a little hose thing in his ear. . . gross. :(

Now he has a RX and hopefully will be better in a week.. or less. :)

I almost fell on the ice today. You know when you watch a movie and you see someone slipping, their arms franticly moving and their feet going back and forth, and they're face stunned, right before they slip?? That was me. It was embarassing.

To top it off my younger DS was also up on and off ALL NIGHT last night, I got about 4 hours of sleep. I'm wiped out. And I painted my dining room today, so add that to my tiredness?

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Foul Mood

2009-01-02T10:55:00.002-06:00

I'm just in a foul mood.
Everyone is pissing me off.
Don't piss me off today.

Wow .. I think I'm pms'ing.

I may just make a blog about some rants that happen through out the day.

UGHGHHDigd;kgj

Happy New Year!

2009-01-01T10:25:00.002-06:00

Welcome 2009!

I wonder how many people have hangovers?!

NOT I! I'm a sober loser. ;)

Can't. Think. Have. Annoying. Shih Tzu. Barking. Her. Ass. Off.

AH!

New Years Eve

2008-12-31T11:51:00.002-06:00

Anyone have any fun plans for tonight?

Not I. I guess not drinking = boring. ;)
I do think my younger DS has an ear infection though - JOY.

He was running a fever last night and is complaining of an ear ache. If only I could just give him an RX. But no, I have to keep calling the DR's office, JUST so I get sent to a machine response.

A-Holes.

Toys I Hate, Weather, and Shopping.

2008-12-27T11:10:00.005-06:00

First we'll start with shopping.
Yesterday, I went to return my Uggs my mom got me because they were too small and the wrong color. We had to drive about 45 minutes to get to that particular store.

Um. Big mistake. Honestly they had not scraped their parking lot ONE bit. It was like a freaking ice skating rink, you could NOT walk, you had to literally SLIDE. I should've take a picture so I could post it, but I was trying not to fall. Lol.
Got into the store and oh-my-gosh. I knew it would be busy, but dang. It was PACKED. The shoe side (of course the side I needed to go to) was a DISASTER. Ugg boxes everywhere. (Seriously, why did I even get those? We counted 26 people wearing them in UNDER 5 minutes!)...oh well.. we got them exchanged and headed out to the mall. Hello high school students. UGH! Some kids are just so *weird* now a days! It's nothing like it was when I was in school. They actually frighten me a bit. After we left that chaos we had to go back onto the skate rink, uh, parking lot.

Weather. We've had really cold weather lately with a huge amount of tons of snow and LOTS of ice storms. The weather has been in the single digits for a while now with a -two digit wind chill. Yeah, IOWA SUCKS. Anyways, yesterday it was almost 50* out, so that meant everything was MELTING...and fast. It was disgusting. Slushy and gross and now this morning it's pouring down rain. PLEASE decide what you want to do weather.

Toys I hate. The Hannah Montana Guitar. This is not because of my insane hatred of Hannah Montana (but boy do I HATE her), but this guitar never shuts up. It plays 3 songs over, and over and over and over and over and.. yeah you get it.

Next, who invented the twist tie things that keep all the toys in the boxes? They should be hit.

UGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

2008-12-25T08:10:00.002-06:00

Good morning and Merry Christmas!

We're getting ready to do presents right now, then we have 3-4 more "Christmases" to go to!

I'll have pictures later!!

Walmart on Christmas Eve

2008-12-24T12:45:00.002-06:00

I know, I know, I'm crazy.
I had bought DH some blank DVD's and apparently got a "bad deal", so I took them back.
Where do I start?

- The parking lot. We've had SOOOOOOOOO much snow and ice already this year, the parking lot is full of that nasty slushy stuff that your wheels get stuck in, then add the ice that's underneath it all, that brings out the spinning tires.

- Walking into the store. See above while the parking lots sucks. I slip and I slide all the way into the store. I know people have GOT to be looking at me. (or so, my anxiety plays a factor in making me think it!).

- Get into customer service, wait in a HUGE line - hear people griping about not having the reciept, yet wanting cash back.

- Finally get my turn, get my cash back - because I'm cool -- I bring my reciept.

- Now, I fight crowds of people to get what I needed.

Fun day at Walmart. Not. :)

Just call me Santa's Elf

2008-12-22T13:19:00.001-06:00

Along with wrapping all of our presents from us and Santa, I'm now getting ready to go to my grandma's house and do all of her wrapping. We're talking 15 presents or more per kid, then my grandpa always buys my grandma TONS of stuff. Then their neighbor (my friend) has me wrap her stuff. Should be fun. Should be jam packed full of hand cramps.

I should start charging people per present, haha!

Christmas is ALMOST here!

Session 6

2008-12-20T10:31:00.002-06:00

Yesterday was my 6th session. I missed my session earlier in the week due to snow/ice storms. (is it summer yet??!)

Today we did our breathing exercise, talked a bit.

We went into the art room (yay!) and she put a huge pile of magazine around me.
She told me to go through as many as I can, and tear out the pages that have something I'm scared of/worried about out.
I got a good 30 pages torn out before the session was over.

We're going to finish my 'collage' "next year", haha. My next app. is in Jan.

So we're going to write my *fear* in the middle and then make a huge collage of these cut out pictures all over the poster board. It's going to be fun, at the same time she's going to talk me through everything and discuss WHY that certain item gives me so much fear.

I'll update next *year* on my next session, so for the rest of the year, your getting posts that are random and just *me* haha. :o)

R.I.P. Caylee Marie Anthony

2008-12-19T17:36:00.005-06:00

The remains are infact, little Caylee Marie Anthony. America's Little Angel can finally rest in peace.
And may her 'mother' go to hell. If I could only type out what I would do to her if I saw her.. I'd be arrested. People like her should not have a child, if they do, GIVE IT UP FOR ADOPTION. Rest in Peace, sweet Caylee. :****(

In Loving Memory of Caylee Marie Anthony 2005-2008

The Caylee Anthony Case

2008-12-19T10:25:00.003-06:00

*sigh*

What can I say? I'm another one of the followers of this case - which I'm sure most are.
It's just a very depressing case.
(It hits home since I have a Kaylee, I guess).

Anyways, I've recently become consumed with this case. Before this I didn't really pay much attention (mainly because it's sad and when you have little kids, it hits close to home)...but I've been reading non-stop about this..

Hopefully we'll find out soon if the "remains" are infact Caylee.

New Pictures

2008-12-17T23:54:00.002-06:00

Just some cell phone pictures I took of me and my youngest Baby today. Isn't Jay adorable?! lol I'm a bit bias.

Happy Birthday to ME!

2008-12-17T09:27:00.002-06:00

I'm a whopping 24 years old today. :)

Happy birthday to me.. well at 9:50pm ;)

[SCRUBS]

2008-12-15T19:38:00.005-06:00

Just a reminder for any of you that may be [SCRUBS] fans.

The new season starts at 8pm Central time on January 6th on ABC!

I can't wait to see what happens this season!

Physical & Emotional Abuse

2008-12-14T18:12:00.003-06:00

A serious blog.

I got some papers at one of my sessions about both of the aforementioned subjects.
I thought I should share it with you because I do know a couple of people going through both types of abuse right now.

Using Intimidation:
Making the other afraid to use looks, actions, gestures. Smashing things. Destroying property. Abusing pets. Displaying weapons.

Using Emotional Abuse:
Putting them down. Making the other feel bad about them self. Calling the other a name. Making them think they're crazy. Playing mind games. Humiliating the other. Making the other feel guilty.

Using Isolation:
Controlling what they do who they see, and talks to, what they read, what they wear, where they go. Limiting outside involvement. Using jealousy to justify actions.

Minimizing, Denying, and Blaming:
Making light of the abuse and not taking their concerns about it seriously. Saying the abuse didn't happen. Shifting responsibility for abusive behavior. Saying the other caused it.

Using Children:
Making them feel guilty about the children. Using the children to relay messages. Using visitation to harass other. Threatening to take the child away.

Using Male (or Female) Privilege:
Treating him or her like a servant. Making all the big decisions. Acting like the "master of the castle". Being the one to define "men and women's roles".

Using Economic Abuse:
Preventing the other from getting or keeping a job. Making the other ask for money. Giving the other an allowance. Taking the others money. Not letting the other have access to family money accounts.

Using Coercion and Threats:
Making and or carrying out threats to do something to hurt the other. Threatening to leave. To commit suicide. Report the other to welfare. Making the other drop charges. Making the other do illegal things.

---------------------------------------

This was mainly for women, so I changed it to 'the other' or something to that effect.

Tis' The Season To...Watch Christmas Movies!

2008-12-13T19:27:00.004-06:00

Tis' the season to cuddle up with a warm blanket, and pop in a movie. Not just any movie, but preferably Home Alone 1, and Home Alone 2, Lost In New York. Heck, I even like Home Alone 3 with the other kid. But yeah, I'll stick with posting about the classics.

Then coming in 3rd is, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. I even like A Very Brady Christmas.

So what's your favorite Christmas movie?

Session 5

2008-12-12T18:27:00.003-06:00

Today's session -
For starters I was late at getting there. I was running late plus I got in a small wreck on the way. What a great way to go into my counselor's office, full of nerves. (for real though!)

Another very personal session.

Not much to say about it - but I go next Tues and Fri.

There will be some pointless blogs coming up though haha.

4th Session

2008-12-11T20:13:00.002-06:00

Today was a good day. I got LOTS of emotion out (still haven't cried yet, haha, some days I feel like I can, but don't, lol.)

I got to do Art Therapy. It was great. I didn't really get where she was going with what she told me to do but after I was done, it made perfect sense.

Try this.

Get a big piece of paper.
Draw a shape. I drew a big pink heart.
Now, pick 4 colors and off to the side make a legend (what the color means).
Mine were
Pink-happy, Green-fear, Red-stress, Purple-hate (eek!)

Now, take the first emotion and fill in your shape according to how much of that emotion you feel.
And continue to do the other colors.

I learned that I'm not happy, hardly at all. My heart was filled about equal parts of stress, hate, and fear and happiness was just a little corner.

We started talking through things.

She noticed that I never, ever say anything positive, or remotely positive about myself, instead, I'm always being negative. "I'm a mess, I can't draw well. I'm a basketcase" etc, etc.
She told me and made me agree that every time I get ready to say a negative thing - I have to turn it into a semi-positive thing.

I don't think I can do it.. lol.

Tomorrow is session #5.

Breathing Technique

2008-12-11T11:29:00.004-06:00

Are you stressed out? Are you sitting at work or home feeling tension?

Try this breathing technique I learned.

* Relax your entire body, while sitting upright in a chair.
* Concentrate on your breathing - watch your chest moving up and down, taking note of every single breath you take.
* Now, squeeze your toes as hard as you can, keep them squeeze until they get tingly.
* Now release them, you will feel tension and anxiety releasing them self through your ankles, up to you calves, in your knees.
* Now, squeeze your thighs together as tight as possible, still taking note of every breath you take.
*Now, release your thighs, you will feel the same anxiety and tension leaving your thighs.
* Now (this is the funny one) squeeze your butt together, as hard as you can.
* Now release and you will again feel the tension coming up through your hips and stomach, then your chest, eventually your shoulders.
* Now, squeeze your hands together as tight as possible, tight, then release them, you'll feel the same stress, tension and anxiety leave your body.
* Now take a DEEP breath.
* Now let it out through your mouth.

Feel better?
I hope this helped relax someone today - I do it before each session and sometimes after. She recommends doing it whenever you can at home (almost impossible with 3 kids here!) or work.

I hope this helped someone!

Carbon Monoxide

2008-12-11T11:04:00.003-06:00

It's winter, so we're all using our heaters, I'm sure. Unless your one of the lucky folks that live down south and are still enjoying sand and sun, in that case I hate you.

I was on a message board and someone mentioned Carbon Monoxide Poisoning. What happened when they didn't have an alarm and how they barely escaped it.

Well, here's my warning to my 'viewing public' (all 10 of you, ha ha! ;)) - GET A CARBON MONOXIDE ALARM. or Check yours, make sure you test it OFTEN. If you have a 2 story house, get one for each story. We only have one downstairs, but that's the only floor we use really. But don't forget to get your appliances that ARE gas/kerosene/fuel powered checked. Make sure they are working properly.

Here's some Carbon Monoxide Alarms from Amazon.com.
Carbon Monoxide Alarms

I really urge anyone to get one. They have some decent priced ones starting at $17-$18 - range, then more expensive ones.

That's my informative post for the morning..

My next session is today, so I should have an update on that as well. :)

Calming Photos of The Week

2008-12-09T18:27:00.005-06:00

I'm missing the sun, and heat. :( I would love to step outside and have it be 99*, heck, I'll take 115*! I just hate, hate, hate cold weather. It depresses me. :( And then there are tons of pictures of cake, cupcakes, frosting - yes, I was hungry, but also, looking at the pictures - they're so creamy and fluffy looking. They're calming, and make me want frosting.

off to search for junk food...hahah

Damn snow!

2008-12-09T15:53:00.002-06:00

So, no appt today. STUPID SNOW AND ICE.

So Thurs and Fri I'll have some updates on that. You may get bombarded with snow pictures though.. be on the lookout..

Mandalas - They relax you, trust me!

2008-12-05T15:38:00.003-06:00

The images I was speaking about in an earlier post was about some calming pictures that help you 'think' and relax. They're called Mandalas. Very awesome things they are.

Here's some links:

I seriously hope these help someone out - just print one, sit down, relax, and color.. Honestly, you'll feel great. Just give it a try!

3rd session

2008-12-05T15:31:00.003-06:00

Third session went great. Lots and lots of talking and then we worked on an "anxiety workbook", which is basically a book asking a lot of questions, and a bunch of scenarios. It's really helpful. I love it. A lot of the questions were about family, where I think my anxiety stemmed from.. It was a total eye-opener. Even though my blog description doesn't give the full effect of my session - trust me it was great.

Still no art therapy! They have to replace the window in the art room - it's very drafty lol.

I will be linking some mandalas in my next blog right after this one.

Wasting time & the anxiety relief sheets.

2008-12-04T19:20:00.003-06:00

I'm wasting time until bedtime for the kiddos. They're busy watching Madagascar the the millionth time. It's good the first few times, but after that, punch me in the nose, please!

I've had a few e-mails about my anxiety relief pages, and I got the website... It's:

Coloring Castle - you can search through tons of pages of pictures to find 'the one' that helps you I didn't look through all of them, but just click on a category that best suits your "happiness". Mine is definitely hearts. :)

Have fun!

My next appt. is tomorrow - I can't wait, I get to do some art therapy and hopefully release some of this tension and anxiety that has been building up!

A calming photo..

2008-12-03T11:59:00.005-06:00

I found this photo on the internet, and had to touch it up myself.

I think it looks/feels very calm and soothing..

Enjoy. :)

Session 2 .. diagnosis

2008-12-02T13:52:00.003-06:00

Today was session 2.

A lot more talking, it felt good to be able to open up to someone who "got it", it felt really good to feel understood for once.

After discussing all of my fears, etc, she did diagnose me [officially] with General Anxiety Disorder & Borderline Panic Disorder. Now, I knew I had both of these for years, but never attempted to do anything about it - until now. I'm so happy I took the first step. It feels great to think that some day, maybe soon, I may have control over my life - something I have not had in so many years. It feels wonderful. She also thinks I have another disorder to do with hypochondria, which I know I *do* have...more info on that as I talk to her more.

My counselor gave me the official date of when I should be "cured", ha! Or doing a lot better anyways. 24 more sessions - which puts up at May 2009. Fine by me.

We did a really, really, amazing 'exercise' today, where we tighten a certain part of our body, focus on our breathing, and then release. We did this to all parts of our body, including our butts, amazingly enough, it helped. I felt the tension just escape little by little. This is a tough thing to do for me because I cannot focus on my breathing for long, I seem to take shorter breaths than what I am suppose to. I guess that is all anxiety related as well.

At the end of our session she told me we will be doing that same exercise at the beginning of every session so we can practice that exercise until I master it... And I hope I do soon! I'm sure I'll feel a world of difference once I get the hang of it.

I was also notified that my next session she will finally introduce the art therapy to me - I can't wait. I think I will really release a lot of stress and anxiety that way.

Friday is my next appointment. :)

Session 1

2008-12-02T13:36:00.002-06:00

Session 1 was basically a meet and greet. I went up the elevator, heart pounding, nervous as all heck, filled out numerous papers with a thousand questions on my mental health. I felt so crazy filling out answers to some questions that scared me. ex- "Do you think about ending your life?". My immediate response was "OH MY GOSH, NO!! I'm scared to die!"

So, off I went into my counselors office. She is very nice, very understanding, very helpful.

I shared with her my fears about...well...everything. From my trust issues with family, friends, kids, etc, to my health - and my fears of taking medication. Deep down I want to get over these fears, but I know it will take a lot of time.

Towards the end of the session my counselor talked to me about art therapy for 'calming' and 'relaxing' my mind. In all honesty, if I hadn't had an open mind about this - I would've thought she was INSANE. But I went in with a clear mind (shockingly enough), and think art therapy will really benefit me.

She gave me some really neat sheets with a bunch of different patterns on it, and they're suppose to relax you, and calm you down.

I tried the sheets out after getting home - and low and behold, they do work. I just stand there and stare at them.. It's a great feeling for me to be able to just not think about anything for a minute. My mind wasn't racing, I wasn't thinking about what if, why, what could possibly happen. It was great - I recommend them to anyone that needs a calm, relaxing minute. Let me know if you want a copy of the ones I've got.

First session was wonderful, couldn't wait till my 2nd session.

I've come to a conclusion..

2008-12-02T13:32:00.002-06:00

It took a lot for me to accept the fact that I needed some guidance. I needed someone to help me. I needed someone to talk to.

I've spent many years worrying about "what ifs", "whens", "why", and many other thoughts a person in my 'condition' thinks about.

So, I decided to see a counselor, to see if she could help me cope with my problems.

In this blog, you will see entries from each of my counseling sessions. I feel I can work through my problems without medical intervention.

Please, do join me on this great journey.

Expect some sad tears and happy tears.

Thank you for pushing me to get the help I need.