4th Session

Today was a good day. I got LOTS of emotion out (still haven't cried yet, haha, some days I feel like I can, but don't, lol.)

I got to do Art Therapy. It was great. I didn't really get where she was going with what she told me to do but after I was done, it made perfect sense.

Try this.

Get a big piece of paper.
Draw a shape. I drew a big pink heart.
Now, pick 4 colors and off to the side make a legend (what the color means).
Mine were
Pink-happy, Green-fear, Red-stress, Purple-hate (eek!)

Now, take the first emotion and fill in your shape according to how much of that emotion you feel.
And continue to do the other colors.

I learned that I'm not happy, hardly at all. My heart was filled about equal parts of stress, hate, and fear and happiness was just a little corner.

We started talking through things.

She noticed that I never, ever say anything positive, or remotely positive about myself, instead, I'm always being negative. "I'm a mess, I can't draw well. I'm a basketcase" etc, etc.
She told me and made me agree that every time I get ready to say a negative thing - I have to turn it into a semi-positive thing.

I don't think I can do it.. lol.

Tomorrow is session #5.

3rd session

Third session went great. Lots and lots of talking and then we worked on an "anxiety workbook", which is basically a book asking a lot of questions, and a bunch of scenarios. It's really helpful. I love it. A lot of the questions were about family, where I think my anxiety stemmed from.. It was a total eye-opener. Even though my blog description doesn't give the full effect of my session - trust me it was great.

Still no art therapy! They have to replace the window in the art room - it's very drafty lol.

I will be linking some mandalas in my next blog right after this one.